The 'N' Word

When I read Randall L. Kennedy's article "Who Can Say N*****" the first thing that struck me was the almost casual usage of the n word, especially in the title of the article. When Kennedy writes, he raises the question of who can say this word and get away with it. I personally think the word is abhorrent, but I have heard others, especially in America, using it in friendly, non-insulting ways. I have been brought up to know that using that word is exceptionally rude; especially since I am a white American girl. I have never used the word and hearing others use it even if they don't use it in a derogatory way makes me wince, and I have found myself feeling embarrassed being in the company of people using that word. Is the n word really that bad though, if people are able to use it freely with one another and not have others question it? What Kennedy gets at in his article is that it's different for everyone, meaning it depends on who you are and who you're talking to that determines whether or not it will be offensive. He also states that no one really understands why the word became so controversial, because the literal meaning of the word is not necessarily bad, it's only bad if you want it to be. On the question of who can say it in modern day society, I don't think it's appropriate for anyone to use if it will mean different things to different people. The n word is associated with cussing for many people, and if cussing is frowned upon then I think the use of the n word should be too. Too much controversy surrounds this word for exceptions to be made for certain groups of people who use it.